Search Engine Hilarity – Can I ask a question like you’re a real person?

19 06 2007

Today I was having a look at my blog stats (like all bloggers tend to do on a daily basis), and one of the search engine terms that led to this site was “is it legal to drive with jeep windshield.” (I’m assuming that WordPress just cuts off really lengthy questions, and the last word is probably “down” or “missing.” And if that is the case, the question being asked is still pretty dumb.)

Of course, that question created a hit which led to my recent blog about my adventures with some kin folk out in the country.

That makes sense and all, as I am writing about being in a Jeep with the windshield down, and I even throw in the word “legal” a few times.

Oddly enough, if you Google “is it legal to drive with jeep windshield down,” I’m the third hit. Crazy, you would think that with all the other crap on the interwebs that I would be a few pages down the list.

Anyway, what really gets to me is that people still use search engines as if they are asking a real person a question.

How about going to Google and inquiring “How often do solar eclipses happen?” Or even better, “I want to see porn.” That second one isn’t really a question, but I’m sure somebody has typed it in.

Its understandable that people aren’t familiar with boolean modifiers and other such search engine parameters, but what kind of people can be so ignorant as to ask an algorithmic protocol a question using proper, informal English?

Most modern search engines were more then likely programmed by some dude in his moms basement. It’s not like using the computer on the starship Enterprise in the 25th century, you can’t just ask a question like the computer has artificial intelligence and knows what your talking about.

“Computer, is it illegal to drive with jeep windshield down?”

“Insufficient search parameters. There are no entries listed for “jeep,” “windshield,” and your an idiot.”

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