Limo services continued

2 07 2007

I’ve never been in a limo before, at least not as an adult. I was 8 years old the last time, and it was the rental limo for my sisters wedding. I don’t remember any more details, sorry.

So this was sort of a new experience for me, being in a limo and all. Me and Jeremy were sitting in the back two seats, Kyle and Jess (who are getting married in about 2 weeks, and their party will surely get a blog of its own) are lounging on the side bench thing, and Dan is sitting on the front bench thing. There is also some dude in the front with TJ that wasn’t at the party with us, but is nevertheless getting a ride somewhere.

TJ decided to take the most scenic, roundabout route possible, which is what limo drivers are generally supposed to do unless the passengers are in a hurry. We were going from Clinton and Weber to Shields and Chestnut. Now, you might not live around here and those coordinates might not mean a damn thing to you. Lets just say that its pretty much a direct, through-the-city route. To really make things simpler, I’ll add that Shields and Clinton run parallel to each other, and are one mile apart.

Apparently, its rather difficult to determine where the hell you are if you’re sitting in the back of a limo. I found that out for sure. At times I would look at the window, and see street signs that made no sense for the supposed route I assumed we would be taking.

Now I really didn’t know where the guy in the front was getting dropped off, but I’m positive that TJ was doubling back at times, trying to avoid certain roads, and generally pretending like he was evading police.

Maybe it was the fact that I was drunk, and everybody else was too. Not party drunk, but exhausted (the whole bounce house boxing thing wears you out) and dozing off drunk.

Anyway, the dude ends up getting dropped off about 5 miles south of Jeremy’s place, at the corner of Chestnut and Jensen. Again, for those of you that don’t live around here, that corner is in a rather desolate, industrialized part of town. Not where I would want to get dropped off at 3 in the morning. But whatever.

We make our way to Jeremy’s house, and everybody piles out of the limo. While we were stopped, I got up front with TJ upon his request. He claimed that if I were to stay in the back, he would probably forget about me. Apparently it has happened before. TJ is a cool dude, as cool as you would expect a middle age Mexican limo driver can be, so I have no issues riding shotgun.

The whole Ms. Daisy thing wasn’t working out for me anyhow.

I assumed that we were going to my house now. For those of you keeping up that have a good knowledge of Fresno, I’ll say that I live in Tower District. Tower District is an area in Fresno pretty much in between our starting location and Jeremy’s house. In fact, on the way from the party, we pretty much drove past my street.

I didn’t say anything at the time because I was enjoying the free limo ride. Also, keep in mind that I had already told TJ where I lived, which was why he agreed to give me a ride home, since it was on the way to Jeremy’s house. I also assumed that he knew Fresno well enough to know what he was doing, since he had been driving a limo for 22 years.

Anyway, instead of going from Jeremy’s house back to my place, we go to Gettysburg and First, which is about a two mile detour.

TJ had to drop off something to some guy that was standing on a street corner. Had I been sober, I’m sure I would have asked what it was and why he had to drop it off at 3 in the morning. The package in question was a black leather case that was sitting on the arm rest between us in the front seat. In fact, I had my elbow resting on top of it most of the time I was in the front. It was about the size of a large binder.

I’ll have to ask him what was in the case next time I see him.

So after dropping off whatever to whoever, TJ finally drops me off about a block from my house. After all, my narrow Tower District streets were no place for a stretched limo.

One last thing. I’m no judge of time when I’m drunk, but I’m pretty sure the whole trip, including traveling from the party, to dropping off that dude, to Jeremy’s house, to the package delivery, and back to my house, took no more then 12 minutes.

Which means that TJ was either driving his limo through Fresno doing about 60 mph or running every red light. I’ll let that remain a mystery for now.

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4 responses

2 07 2007
Corinne

Maybe someday you’ll post something that doesn’t have to do with drinking or hot sauce!

3 07 2007
macgyversrollofducttape

Sure, the same day you keep your mouth shut and make me a pie.

Love you

5 07 2007
Ben

Mexicans being invovled with illecit activities!!!?? Next you’ll tell me blacks are lazy and people who live in VA are racist.

I wanted to know more about the Sage of Seers or whatever you called it.

5 07 2007
macgyversrollofducttape

“Sage of the Seers?” What of it? Check your local Wikipedia.

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