Ninja Turtles, Butch Lesbians, and Broiled Orange Roughy

9 09 2007

Have you ever had a series of dreams in one night? Was the reality of those dreams way better then the actual reality you wake up to? Have you ever wished that your dreams were reality and this world is the dream?

Sounds like a movie tag line or something.

“In a world where dreams are the reality…”

I was either a Ninja Turtle or just paired up with the Ninja Turtles (hopefully like Casey Jones, cause if I was April O’Neil I probably shouldn’t be sharing this with everybody), and we were trying to stop a group of butch lesbians from smuggling something that they were trying to hid in several bags of rice. The action took place in a large grocery store, where the butch lesbians were trying to steal the aforementioned bags of rice while the store was closed.

There was some sort of fight scene, and then I woke up and had to piss yet again.

After doing so, letting out the remainder of dogs that were in the house, then going back to bed, it started up again.

This time I was getting a “stern talking to” from an older Armenian lady concerning her virginal daughter. The dream didn’t include what went down that led up to me getting the talking to, just the talking to. I managed to get the old Armenian lady on my side by letting it slip out that I was in the Navy “a few years back.” After she knew that, she was fine with me and implied that I could see her daughter anytime.

Believe me, telling a girls mother that you were in the Navy hardly works to get on her good side.

Anyway, whats weirder is that I was in 1915, and we were on the RMS Lusitania, and I knew this, and I knew that the ship was going to be sunk by Germans because of their unrestricted submarine warfare policies, so I made sure we got off the ship before it left pier 54 in New York.

And by “we,” I mean Corinne and myself.

So, after leaving the ship, we ended up walking through a grocery store, down the cereal isle, and we did this to bypass in order to bypass the Ninja Turtles that were fighting a group of butch lesbians in the isle with the rice.

Anyway, me and Corinne went to Marie Calendar’s to either eat or pick up some broiled orange roughy, the whole time me telling her the story of what I did to offend the old Armenian lady.

I wish I could remember that story, no doubt because it would have been more exciting then Ninja Turtles fighting butch lesbians.

Although I would pay to see that fight, for sure.

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2 responses

10 09 2007
Emon

Heh heh…Armenian lady and her virginal daughter.

Oh, man…I have dreams like that a lot. Then I’d wake up and still think I’m inhabiting the dream world. I once had this dream that can be best described as ‘Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow’ in a village setting complete with blue oxes and a carnival happening right in the middle. Funny thing about that is I had that dream in the early 90s.

10 09 2007
macgyversrollofducttape

Are you implying that dreams predict the future of crappy movies?

I seem to only have vivid dreams when I’m stressed about life. Over the whole summer, when I had not a care in the world, I don’t even recall dreaming once. My dreams are somewhat relevant to my own reality, in the sense that I can pick out elements from my life that worked themselves into the dream.

The Orange Roughy is from a menu I was looking at, the “virginal” Armenian girl looks like a girl from one of my classes, I just generally like Ninja Turtles, the Butch Lesbians remind me of the lesbians I saw at the strip club a few weeks ago, and we were discussing the Lusitania in one of my history classes.

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