You won’t like me when I’m angry, Tyler Durden.

3 04 2008

Last night (this morning?) I awoke from a dream.

It’s happened before…no doubt it will happen again.

Anyway, in the dream I was stuck in a store overnight. I didn’t get locked in or anything, I was waiting in line to pay for merchandise. It wasn’t just me, it was a bunch of other people, which makes me think that it was a 24 hour store of some kind. I was buying a gift for Corinne (apparently), and the service at the store was so bad that people were waiting in line all night to get checked out/rung up.

I was buying Corinne a small (very small, like the size of a Read the rest of this entry »


Ninja Turtles, Butch Lesbians, and Broiled Orange Roughy

9 09 2007

Have you ever had a series of dreams in one night? Was the reality of those dreams way better then the actual reality you wake up to? Have you ever wished that your dreams were reality and this world is the dream?

Sounds like a movie tag line or something.

“In a world where dreams are the reality…”

I was either a Ninja Turtle or just paired up with the Ninja Turtles Read the rest of this entry »


15 06 2007

Now that it’s a few weeks deep into summer break, I’m actually working a normal 8-5 schedule.

I think that those hardcore bloggers must not actually have real jobs, because I’m finding it difficult to update and write daily.  Its not that I don’t have time, its just that Read the rest of this entry »

Crazy stuff

15 02 2007

I had another odd dream last night.

However, I can only remember the part closest to when I woke up.

This girl who was in a class of mine said that she didn’t need me as a study partner anymore because she found somebody as dumb as her to study with. Those aren’t her exact words, just translated from “womenspeak.”

I told her that since I never really studied anyway, I’m not offended or anything. She was treating the whole thing like we were breaking up or something.

Whats weird is that the classroom we were in I have never seen before except in a previous dream. In that dream, me and this girl were assigned to work on a project and she wanted to study for the upcoming test with me because she is dumb and can’t remember things that she (or her parents) is paying at least $1500 a semester for.

Again, not her words, just translated.

So I had a sequel to a dream. Weird stuff. Has that every happened to anybody else?


20 12 2006

I had a very empowering (impowering?) dream last night. Not that kind either, you pervert. It made me wake up extra confident, like I was in a personal hygiene commercial or, if a woman, a douche commercial. They don’t really have those anymore, do they?

Anyway, it started with me at my high school, approaching it on some sort of prom night, by myself. I had already consumed one or two beers. I wasn’t really planning on going inside, and fortunately my friends Velma and Shaggy were in the parking lot, in their car getting high. Yes, Velma and Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Apparently we were friends in high school. Just go with it. I had to in the dream.

So I identify myself as “not a cop,” and take up a seat in the back of the car. Its like an eighty something Toyota Camry. They have a bong/pipe that looks like a silver slide whistle, and as soon as I got in the car Velma put it away because we were leaving. I wanted to partake, but not while we were driving down the road, so I waited. We ended up going to a Chevron and getting gas, and probably some other stuff too. We then went to som Read the rest of this entry »

Another Dream, long overdue

28 09 2006

At first, I was in what was supposed to be me and Corinne’s bedroom. It wasn’t the bedroom in this house, thats for sure. I commented on how one of the walls needed to be drywalled and plastered because it was just the wooden frame exposed. That was weird, because we were already living in the house….and we were sitting in bed when I mentioned the wall.

So, me being me, decide to figure out why the exposed wooden beams were painted white. I find a switch near the wall that I never noticed before, and when I push it, the white wooden beams turn sideways and seal up the wall. I think thats a wonderful thing, as I no longer have to fix the wall.

I then notice that the windows on the loft part of the bedroom are all open. Like I said, this isnt my house. So I go to close them, and find another switch I never noticed before. Not only does this switch control the opening and closing, but it controls the tinting of the windows. I can have them be blacked out or totally clear. Again, I’m glad to have discovered this because now I don’t have to…manually close the windows I guess.

Some more stuff happened in the house, but I can’t remember exactly what. I think it had something to do with the dogs, but its lost forever now.

But thats not the weird part of the dream. I leave the house, and am being chased by Kathy Bates from her role in “Misery.” Its not just me being chased, but other people as well. Not like a straight out foot race or anything, but its more a cat and mouse game in the neighborhood, which then moves into a big city. As it turns out, I live in NY or LA because I end up catching a taxi to elude Kathy Bates.

Catching the cab was rather memorable. There were about 4 taxis across the street, but I didnt want to call for them or run towards them as Kathy might see me. So I walk up to the one that looked least expensive (the first two were Lincoln Towncar taxis) and get inside. The driver tells me to get out. So I do, and one of the Towncar taxi drivers tells me to get in.

There are already two people in the back seat, so I get in the front. In the back is Cuba Gooding Jr. and some random blond woman. Apparently we were all trying to run from Kathy Bates, who now is driving a red 1994 Explorer Sport (my last car, if you don’t know me that well). So off we go, away from Kathy Bates.

Cuba Gooding Jr. tells the cab driver to lose the Explorer, and he says “Fuck it” or something like that, then starts running red lights, losing Kathy Bates in the process.

Then I woke up….half an hour early unfortunately. Kathy Bates, you owe me half an hour of sleep. Maybe I’ll watch Fried Green Tomatoes tonight to get whats coming to me.

Another dream

10 02 2006

I was sitting on the couch in living room….or was about to, when I saw two kids coming to the door. I figured they were selling something, and not wanting to deal with them, I ducked in front of the couch, laying on the floor. I could still see the front door and front window. Both dogs were in the house, I know this because Sara alias El Chupacabra was standing on the coffee table looking down at me. Despite the kids knocking on the door, neither dog was barking.

The kids go away, seeing as how I didn’t answer the door. I get up, only to see a car or truck in the driveway, and two tall men returning with the kids. I duck in front of the couch again. One of the men begins to pick the lock on the door, and he succeeds. I figure that when I stand up, these suspects will realize that there IS somebody home, and either leave, say the door was open and make up some lame story, or kill me. They do nothing of the sort. They just walk in, make their intentions clear, and start taking things, reminding me who is in charge by flashing a butterfly knife every now and then. Not a gun, or a super soaker loaded with anthrax or smallpox (to which I’m immune, thank you US Military), but a small, somewhat unimpressive butterfly knife.

I remember to note their appearances, as I will have to call the police when they are done. Both men are very tall, and rather large. The one I primarily deal with has short, buzzed red hair, glasses, and that’s all I can remember. Good description, I know. The other one is dressed like the demon in Jeepers Creepers, maybe he looks like him too, I can’t remember his face.

First off, I remember pointing out a cool, expensive Star Wars-ish toy I had sitting on the shelf in the dining room, hoping that they would take it and not much else. Apparently I felt as though I could part with that item, and I probably could seeing as how in reality I own nothing of the sort. One of the kids picked it up, and both of them walked outside arguing over it. My plan worked! Sort of. Now just don’t take my other stuff that I actually don’t want stolen. The Buddha wouldn’t care if he got robbed, huh? He probably wouldn’t have anything to steal to begin with anyway. I should try to work on stuff reduction, so if I do get robbed, I won’t care.

Next, Read the rest of this entry »