Steak good….

19 01 2010

Most people that know me (and I mean really know me, not just say “Hey, I know that guy!”) are aware of my love/hate relationship with food.  While I do enjoy eating tasty food products, I also hate having to take time out of my day to eat.

Perhaps that’s not the best way to describe it;  I like to eat food, but I hate having to spend time (and money) trying to decide what to eat.  Along with that, there is the whole idea of “what is good for me?”

Back in the day, this wasn’t an issue.  People were glad just to have food and not starve to death.  This is still the case in some parts of the world.

Since I don’t live in those parts of the world, I have choices to make.  These choices really irk me the wrong way (The spell check didn’t think “irk” was NOT a word, so I’m going with it).

For example, I recently read this article, about how vegetarians are ignorant that their own dietary lifestyle is killing them.  I’m sure I could do a little more research and find an article (or 4,239 articles) about how eating meat is bad.

How am I supposed to make an informed decision if nobody knows what’s up?  Right now I am believing that eating more meat is good for you, as humans evolved eating bison and mastodons (or so those silly paleontologists want you to think).  It makes sense to me that most vegetables are not meant to be eaten and digested by anything other then strict herbivores like cows, sheep, and the like.

I think fruits are still okay to eat, as they would have been part of the foraging diet our hairy ancestors (more hairy then me) would have nom’ed on from time to time.

What does this all mean?  Am I going on some kind of Caveman/Paleo-Diet?  Probably not.  I still have way to many tubs of hummus, clam shells of cucumbers, jars of Greek peppers, and bags of pitas to eat right now.

What do YOU, the reader think of this nutritional nonsense?  Is meat bad for you?  Are soybeans going to give us cancer?

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Me v. Man v. Food

16 04 2009

I was watching Man v. Food last night, specifically the episode where he eats and drinks his way through San Jose.

One challenge was at SmokeEaters Hot Wings.  Details inside.

I’m pretty sure I can handle that challenge.  In fact, I plan to.

The way I see it, he screwed himself when he got the sauce all over his face and hands.  Watch the episode, you’ll see what I mean.

This isn’t something I can just walk up to though.  It will require a few weeks of training.

To prepare, I went and got some “hot” salsa.  It claims to have three kinds of peppers in it.  Whatever.

I added Dat’l Do-it Habanero Heat Wave, Dave’s Insanity Sauce, El Yucoteco, Mad Anthony’s, and another secret ingredient.

Love.  I added Love.

I was considering grinding up some habanero peppers into a paste and adding it to the salsa, but that will be phase two.  Phase three involves me gargling with said raw habanero paste and holding it for five minutes.

Yes, I ate some of the salsa already.  No, I don’t feel well at all.





Dominion Pizza

17 03 2009

I have been to Italy and Sicily more times then I can remember.  Seriously, I lost count.  It’s at the point where I don’t get excited about going there anymore.

One thing I do enjoy while visiting the old country is the food.  Specifically, the pizza that is nothing like “American” pizza.  They are smaller and made to be eaten by one person.  They are not “personal” pizzas by any means, but the idea of ordering a large pepperoni and pineapple in Italy just seems blasphemous (and they won’t know what you’re talking about either, because they don’t use pineapple…or speak English).  And you can forget about dipping it in ranch dressing.  I do believe that will get you Read the rest of this entry »





Taco Grande

10 03 2009

I’m not of Mexican descent, despite what that one Greek guy told me (its a long story…lets just say I was in Greece and this guy trying to sell me gyros assumed I was Mexican…actually that’s the whole story, I guess its not that long after all).  Also, I have never been to Mexico.  San Diego is about the closest I’ve ever been so far.  So what qualifies me to critique Mexican food?  It’s not that I’m unqualified, I did already apply for my license to be a Mexican Food Critic , but its still being held in Sacramento (apparently my slight aversion to cilantro is creating some legal issues).  Until they issue me a temporary permit, I’ll have to be quick and discrete about my opinions concerning Mexican food.

Despite the risks (I’m pretty sure its a federal offense to critique food without the proper permits), I feel as though I need to tell you about Taco Grande.  I’m talking about the one on Kings Canyon and Clovis, but they are all the same (or so the owner told me, but since he owns all three in the area I would assume he knows best).  At Taco Grande, I had a burrito grande with carne asada, as well as a taco grande (also with carne asada).  I wasn’t going to go to Taco Grande and not have a taco grande, that wouldn’t seem right.

Here is why I highly recommend the food at Taco Grande:  You don’t have to think when you eat.

Let me explain. Read the rest of this entry »





Pacifica Pizza

6 03 2009

As a self-proclaimed expert on all things pizza (except that Chicago deep dish “pizza”), there are certain qualities I look for in a slice of pizza. I am not claiming to be the only foodie with the same pizza criteria. However, I am the only one currently writing about Pacifica Pizza (the one on Chestnut and Sheppard in Fresno), so what I say goes.

First off, the bottom must be discussed. And by bottom, I mean crust. And by crust, I mean the bready part on the…you guessed it….BOTTOM. I have eaten plenty of pizza in my days. I grew up in New York City, where some of the best pizza in the country comes from (again, Chicago doesn’t count). They say it is something in the NYC water that makes the pizza so unique and delicious. I can’t argue with that, because I’m not a chemist (or at least Alton Brown). I am, however, somebody that knows pizza. And let me tell you something: Pacifica Pizza has just about the greatest crust I’ve tasted in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing like New York pizza. With that said, it is somewhat soft AND crispy at the same time (which tend to be the two key traits of NY pizza crust). I don’t know how those guys at Pacifica Pizza do it.

Well, I do know, but I don’t want to bore you with details.

It’s that good kind of crust, the kind that when you tear it open, “hot” comes out. Do you get my meaning? But wait! What am I talking about? I meant to talk about the bottom of the pizza, not the crust around the edges. The bottom crust (or “bo’crust,” if you’ll excuse my new addition to the English language) is something quite spectacular. Despite the thick layer of toppings (which I’ll get to in a second), it was still quite fluffy. Have you ever had pizza where the “bo-crust” is like a thin strip of leather, even though it’s not supposed to be thin crust? That is exactly what Pacifica Pizza crust is NOT like. That bo’crust on the bottom reminds you, with every bite, that you are eating quality hand-made (daily and from scratch!) pizza crust.

That’s entirely enough about the bottom. Now to the top(pings). I had a simple one item topping, and went for the classic pizza meat, pepperoni. This wasn’t some thinly sliced spicy lunch meat. It wasn’t entirely thickly sliced either, but right in between. It was sliced so that you can taste it, as well as actually feel the texture. I knew for sure that there was a slice of pepperoni in my mouth when I got hold of one.

But what’s a good pizza without a good cheese? Honestly, the cheese on ANY pizza is hard to mess up. So long as it’s melted, it’s all good. And let me tell you, this cheese was definitely melted. Melted so well and thoroughly, in fact, that the pepperoni was not about to fall off for any reason, short of some kind of highly localized pizza specific tornado (those are rare these days, and in this part of California). Neither was the sauce, which I was pleasantly surprised about. The one thing that ruins pizza for me is too much sauce. There is always the option to order it with extra sauce, of course. To me, the perfect amount of sauce is so you can taste it and know it’s there. Too much sauce is when it creates a lubricated buffer zone (kind of like Switzerland) between the bo’crust and the cheese, causing the top layer of goodness to slide off and away from my mouth. For sure, Pacifica Pizza DOES NOT do that. The cheese and toppings were firmly attached to the bo’crust, as they should be.

As for toppings, I also had some of the Heart Attack Special, which has pepperoni, Canadian bacon, salami, linguica, REAL bacon pieces, Italian sausage, and ground beef. This is truly a man’s’ pizza (or a woman, no offense was meant). Let me put it another way: remember the whole idea of a “meat lover’s” pizza? Pacifica Pizza has continued on with that tradition with the Heart Attack Special. The only thing that could have made it manlier would have been to add some hot wings on top, and maybe some rocks (because real men can eat rocks and spit gravel, or so I’ve been told).

Speaking of hot wings, I had some of those from Pacifica Pizza also. Were they hot? Hot enough, for sure. Were they the hottest wings I’ve ever had? No way. Were they delicious, meaty, and…umm…red? Of course! They were everything you would expect when you order some hot wings at a pizza place. Would I order them again? Most definitely, as they are now my new favorite wings in Fresno (since University Chicken shut down, that is). One thing that really seals the deal on wings is the ranch dressing. It needs to be somewhat thick and have that restaurant style ranch flavor. Pacifica Pizza ranch has all of that, and to make things even better, you get something like a pint (my definition of a pint may be different than yours) of it with the wings. Not like those other places where you get a little tablespoon in a plastic cup…those places need take some lessons from Pacifica Pizza.

Before I end this, I need to mention the Garlic Cheese Knots (I think that’s what they were called, they had those three words in the title…maybe “twists” instead of “knots”). If all else fails, ask for the garlic bread and they will know what you mean. Remember that crust I was talking about? Not the bo’crust, but the crust around the edge? Let’s call that ed’crust for now. Anyway, the ed’crust was fantastic, like I said, but the Garlic Cheese Knots (Twists?) are made from that same freshly made dough, then brushed with some sort of garlic and butter sauce that only God himself (or herself) could have made. In other words, it’s the best thing ever as far as I’m concerned (at least when it comes to cheesy garlic bread).

So what should you take away from all this ranting and raving about Pacifica Pizza? I don’t know, that’s for you to decide. Just remember that it’s probably one of the better, if not one of the best pizza places in Fresno. Take it from me, some guy (who you’ve never met) that really likes pizza (or at least claims to), Pacifica Pizza is the next step in pizza goodness. We can call that “piz’oodness” if we want; there is nobody to stop us.





Funniest thing I’ve seen since I last posted something funny worth posting.

5 08 2008




Totally got to vote for Obama

4 06 2008

If you’ll notice, Senator Obama is enjoying El Yucateco hot sauce. He’s got my vote.

Maybe he’s not using the hot sauce, but the fact that he found a taco joint with both the green AND red Yucateco makes him my hero.